New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
