I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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