do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
