I didn't shave. On purpose
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
