even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
