I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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