I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
