she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
do herpes really smell.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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