don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
