Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
