everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he puts the penis in happiness.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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