Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize