I heard we made out
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
