just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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