bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
