Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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