Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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