If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize