Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
