me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
