Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
