So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
