she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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