i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
