Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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