If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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