Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
