you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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