i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
