i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize