i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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