I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
