in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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