Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
