I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
