All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize