physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize