I heard we made out
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
His hands were made for my vagina.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
