Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
