Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
