how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
