No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
pop tarts are not kleenex
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize