she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
