I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
