I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize