i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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