At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
