i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
