The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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