hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My day in three words: secret purse cake
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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