sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
