I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
babies were throwing up all over the place
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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