I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize