What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
PANTIES FOUND
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