it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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