a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
