I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
