He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
